69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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