went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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