Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
