im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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