I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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