u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
