Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
