I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
