kristin has been a bad kristin
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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