watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
