Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The power of my boobs compel you
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
