I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
