I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
