In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
