I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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