Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
