Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
