I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
