using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
