Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
