I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she smelled like a LAN party
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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