If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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