absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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