dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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