Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize