Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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