I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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