You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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