It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
