So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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