then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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