I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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