the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
