you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize