We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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