I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
