Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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