4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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