i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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