I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
