I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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