do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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