I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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