This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
