He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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