i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
