After last night, I could never be a politician.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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