There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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