...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
