I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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