Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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