Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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