i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My vagina is very pro this idea
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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