walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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