D3 body, D1 cock
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
