ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
