It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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