this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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