"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
