what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
