Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
