I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
