Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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